Make Your Leadership Your Life And Your Life Your Leadership by Brent Filson

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Make Your Leadership Your Life And Your Life Your Leadership
by Brent Filson
Companies facing global competition are expecting more from all employees, more initiative, more innovation and more results.

Critical to meeting these expectations is leadership. The word "leadership" comes from a old Norse word meaning "to make go." Leadership is needed in organizations to make things go, to muster and coordinate direction, ardent commitment and resource alignment.

Working with thousands of leaders of all ranks and functions during the past 21 years, I've seen that most leaders deem leadership as exclusively an on-the-job dynamic. They don't see it as a life dynamic.

Companies seeking more from their employees must promote leadership that delivers more, and that leadership can only deliver more if it is effective both on and off the job.

If you don't make your leadership your life and your life your leadership, you diminish both your leadership and your life.

The reasons are simple. The best leaders establish a deep, human, emotional connection with the audience. Why is that necessary to achieve organizational results? Leadership isn't about getting people to do what they want to do. If people simply had to do what they wanted to do, leaders wouldn't be needed. Instead, leadership is about getting people to do what they don't want to do and be totally committed to doing it. These people have a good chance of achieving a lot more results, achieving those results faster, and achieving "more, faster" on a continual basis. One may tyrannically order people to get results, but the effectiveness of such leadership is not as consistent nor as substantial as having people make the free choice to get results. And people will make that free choice mainly in an environment in which deep, human, emotional relationships are developed.

Look at the leaders in your life. I'm sure you've been at the receiving end of both the tyrants and those with whom you've had deeply beneficial relationships with. Weren't you more likely to go all out for those leaders who promoted an environment in which those better relationships flourished?

Clearly, that's an environment one should seek to establish in one's life as well. The relationships you develop as a leader can be similar to the relationships you should develop in your life outside your job. In my many seminars on the Leadership Talk, I have seen people use my processes outside their job, with their spouses, friends, and children, etc.
There are many values that should be promoted in our lives: trust, honesty, integrity, coming through on commitments, fairness, tenacity, tolerance, and more. Let's "trust" as one example.

I believe we should live a life of trusting others. I call it "living in trust." Of course, trust can be taken too far, and we may open ourselves up to be deceived and betrayed. My wife says I often trust others too much; and certainly I have paid in many ways over my life for such a propensity. But though we may be deceived if we trust too much, we will nevertheless suffer more if we don't trust enough.

Living in trust means extending trust without conditions until that trust is clearly betrayed. And then, depending on the circumstances, we may continue to extend trust even if it is betrayed. For when it is betrayed, we may not necessarily be the poorer for it. We may indeed be the richer; for without trust, we cannot establish deep relationships.

My view of trust in life can be extended to leadership. Leadership is about getting continual increases in great results. To do that, leaders must engender trust in the people they lead. In fact, great results can't accrue without strong bonds of trust established between the leader and the people.

I've often said that it is better for a leader to buy the Brooklyn Bridge for a nickel rather than to sell it for one. People will not be led by you to do extraordinary things unless they trust you; but they won't trust you unless they know you are taking the risk to trust them. In fact, many organizations get into trouble when the people don't trust or stop trusting their leaders, and when their leaders stop trusting them.

So, trust operates both in our lives and on our jobs as leaders and must be cultivated both on and off the job.

There are many other values that should be manifested in both the life one leads and the leadership one manifests. The point is that when you make sure the leadership traits you carry out on the job are the very traits you live by in your life, you enhance the quality of your leadership and your life.

How to Get a Girl do You Want

Every girl is different; if they were all alike, you wouldn't be interested in this one in particular, now would you? There are as many different ways to get a girl as there are girls, so let's go over some basic rules that will win over any girl worth getting.

This is some tips to get a girl.

1. Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the "friend zone", this is especially important. Girls don't like guys who have no lives, and who cling to them like plastic wrap. Some girls do like that, but for all the wrong reasons—either they are insecure and needy for attention, or they're control freaks who have a need for dominating guys. Unless you want to sign up for either of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interest, hobbies and goals.
2. Make an impression. There's no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill or talent that you're proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too.
3. Be her friend. Girls don't just fall for random strangers. (Well, some do, but the relationship never goes very far!) If you're in the same Geometry class as her, learn her name. Every time she walks into class, smile at her. Sometimes this is all it takes for a girl to notice you. At the same time though, don't do this too often! It will just end up looking like you're obsessed with her. But if you talk to other girls too, like friends of yours, then she'll see that you're all there. If she doesn't seem to see you, when she walks by, just say "Hi Tiffany." In a friendly way. This way she'll know you exist. If she's shy, she might just smile back, so don't take this as a sign that she doesn't like you! However, if you want your relationship to move ahead, don't get stuck in the quicksand - that is the 'Friend Zone'. Sometimes a girl won't go out with you because she's afraid if the relationship ends badly, she'll lose your friendship! To start moving things along, be a little flirty!
4. Flirt. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact and smile. Strike up a casual conversation. Most importantly, relax. The more you talk to girls, the more relaxed you'll become. Don't think of her as the girl of your dreams; don't worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke, or if you have something stuck to your teeth. She may be just as nervous, and small mistakes will likely go unnoticed or be ignored. Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. Live in the moment. Just be careful that you don't get so caught up in the moment that you say or do something you might regret later.
5. Talk to her. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and what gets her excited. Be positive. If you had a bad day, still greet her pleasantly with a big smile. Most importantly, listen to everything she says. Whether she talks about herself, her family, hobbies or anything, pay attention. Some things could be useful or important to know later in the relationship. Nod to show that you're listening, and also respond to what she says so she knows that you really are listening. Girls are very appreciative of guys who demonstrate sincere interest in what they say.
6. Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolate and teddy bears) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique; find and do things that only she would appreciate. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? Whenever she's shopping, talking, or watching a movie, what makes her eyes light up? Pay attention! Girls easily notice if you still remember things they told you a long while ago. Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know—better than anyone else in the world—what makes her unique.
7. Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she's stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd. If she's worried, put your hand lightly on her shoulder to comfort her. These are all polite ways to get a little closer to a girl without being creepy. Girls are delicate, even if they put up a tough front, so make sure the touching is light; for example, don't slap her on the back. If you see any signs of discomfort, stop! Otherwise, she'll probably enjoy the affection.
8. Compliment her. If you really like the girl, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt) make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be, unless she's shallow. Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other girls have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original, perhaps by specifying a particular feature. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills. If you're not sure what's good or bad complimenting, read
9. Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is a classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only one. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Be bold and think of some antics that will make her laugh. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it's not illegal, of course). Laughter will come by itself if both of you are relaxed and enjoying each other's company.
10. Ask her out. Invite her to go somewhere or do something with you. Make sure it's something that you're both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something you're proud of. Alternatively, you can express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis. If you aren't yet ready or comfortable with the idea of sharing your personal lives to that extent, just go out for lunch or do something simple together, maybe with a small group of friends, where you can get to know her better.
11. Look Good. Work out run a mile or two, do some sit ups, get a six pack, etc. Also get a tan, so when you go to the pool and she is there, she will be like, "wow". Girls like a guy with a tan and some muscles, but don't overdo it; girls don't like it when you have too much muscles. That just shows that you love your muscles too much.

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